In an arranged match, you often have only a few meetings, sometimes with family in the next room, to understand someone you might spend your life with. First meetings tend to stay polite: work, hobbies, where you grew up. That’s a fine start. These questions help you go one step further, kindly.
About everyday life
- What does a normal weekday look like for you, and a good weekend?
- What does a bad day look like, and what helps?
About family
- Where do you see us living, and with whom?
- How are big decisions made in your family?
- What do your parents expect from the person you marry?
About money
- How do you like to handle money: saving, spending, joint or separate?
- Do you support your parents, and might that change?
About careers
- What does support for my career look like to you?
- What would we do if one of us had to move for work?
About children
- Do you want children, and when?
- How involved would you want grandparents to be?
About disagreements and respect
- When we disagree, what do you need from me?
- What would make you feel unheard in a marriage?
How to ask
Answer each question yourself first, so it feels like sharing rather than an interview. Listen to how someone answers, not just what they say: do they think about it, or brush it aside? And don’t try to ask everything in one meeting.
If these feel hard to ask in person, that’s normal. With a Yours Honestly profile, many of them are answered honestly before you meet, so your conversations can start further along. Our Before You Say Yes checklist is a good place to begin.
